Arthur and his wife Mavis were somewhat bemused, confused and quite literally "shell-shocked" to learn that it was 2010, and not October 1940 as it had been when they went to sleep the night before. You see, somewhere between Arthur and Mavis switching out the light, falling into slumber and waking the next day, the bomb hit. This was London in the first month of the Blitz.
It happened so fast that they didn't realise anything had happened; they were asleep. The "next day", Arthur and Mavis carried on just as they had the day before, never quite realising that the day, or the year, had moved on. It was as if they were stuck in the groove of a vinyl record, with a little speck of dust keeping the needle from moving forward.
If you have seen the film The Others with Nicole Kidman, you will understand the concept. The difference is that one was a film, and Arthur and Mavis were real. I met them in 2010, after they had been causing a little upset to the family living in the house rebuilt where their own had once stood. Arthur and Mavis lived in their house, and the new family lived in theirs. It was just that sometimes, in the new house, things went bump and creak when they shouldn't have.
What if?
Over the years I have encountered many different reasons why someone may appear not to have moved on after physical death. Sometimes there is fear. Sometimes there is confusion. Sometimes there is unfinished business. Sometimes there is such a powerful attachment to a person or place that leaving seems impossible. And occasionally, as with Arthur and Mavis, there appears to be no awareness that death has happened at all.
When this happens, they may remain in what I describe as an in-between state, sometimes called being "in limbo" or "earth-bound". This may show up as remaining in a home they once lived in (the classic haunted house), staying close to a loved one, or attaching to the energy field of a living person who shares similar life experiences, or who reminds them of someone they once knew.
Have you ever run a group or worked with a client and sensed there was something more going on, something that didn't quite make sense? Perhaps you have described a client as having "strong defence mechanisms" or being "resistant to change".
What if this were true, but someone else was also, unknowingly and unintentionally, influencing how your client or group was acting and behaving? What if this "someone" was stuck in an in-between place, an otherworldly place of never moving backwards or forwards? Imagine for a moment how it might feel to be in such a place of never-ending stillness.
The work of compassion
Many people are fearful of working with this relatively unknown area. Yet as our understanding of ourselves and the world we live in continues to change, perhaps there is room to become more curious about what we don't yet fully understand. These "people" and their in-between world may need as much help and support as we do here in our own physical world.
Personally, I have always believed, and known, that there is more than just the world we see and live in. I don't know how I knew it; it just seems that I did.
Those of you who usually read my stories about colour may be wondering where colour fits into this one. It was through my work with colour and Deep Memory Process that this other world began to come to life. Over the years it has become, in many ways, just another normal day at the office, which is perhaps why I talk about it in everyday language. The stories may be unusual, but for me the people in them are still people.
Helping a bereaved father find peace, after being stuck in a seemingly never-ending place of guilt, has been one of many memorable moments in this work. This father had been drawn to the emotional thoughts of my client, himself a new father. My client was wondering: would he be good enough? Would he let his newborn son down? These were the very worries that felt so familiar to the father stuck in the in-between. Over time, my client's feelings of not being good enough had grown louder and louder.
Why? Because, without knowing it, he was feeling inadequate for two.
Creating a place for dialogue is part of the work. Holding space for this in-between father to tell his story of grief, and of failing to protect and save his family, is part of the work. Helping him become aware of his stuckness, so he can let go and move on, is part of the work. Supporting my client in this world to feel OK, and to find strength in his fears and vulnerabilities as a new father, is part of the work.
And as for Arthur and Mavis, they could finally move on and wake up somewhere new.
Compassion brings all the parts together into wholeness. Compassion is the container that allows love, understanding and unity to be present.
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious." — Albert Einstein
If Mark Wentworth's story has stirred your curiosity, join him for his online course, Healing Soul Attachments to People and Place. Drawing on more than 25 years of experience with Deep Memory Process, Mark will guide you through grounding and protection, why some souls remain earth-bound, how to recognise attachments, and how to bring compassionate resolution to those caught in-between. The course is designed for therapists and healers who already work with clients and want to explore a new way of working with death and beyond. Book now.
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